When I was 13 I worked in a video shop on Saturdays. Every week pretty much the same people would come in and rent the latest VHS movies. Most customers wanted to watch the new releases, but what always fascinated me were the children. Rather than being tempted by the new films, the kids wanted to see something they’d seen before. Something they were comfortable with. Something they knew. Right down to being able to recite all the words. Epic tantrums followed when Mum or Dad tried to get them to try something different.
I didn’t know it then, but apparently this is not unusual. There are many and lengthy physiological explanations for why we are drawn to the things we are most familiar with, even from a very young age.
Fast-forward (pun intended) a few years and I’ve realised that actually, now that I am presented with more choice that ever, I also keep returning to the things I know and bring me comfort. We’re all accustomed to the the over-used term ‘comfort zone’.
I never thought I’d be ‘one of those people’ who go on holiday to the same place – yet that little piece of Andalucia that I adore to visit, with the restaurants I know and the beach club I love, brings me as much joy as any new adventure. The sense of peace I feel when I look at those familiar mountains, basking in the pink evening sky; the surge of joy when I see the beauty of the blue Mediterranean sea, the happiness of going back to places where we’ve had so much fun before is something I look forward to with something close to actual longing. It’s the place I go to in my head on a wet, cold Monday morning, and it’s the reason I go back there at least twice a year.
So, is this a lack of imagination on my part, an aversion to trying new things, or a genius strategy to make the best use of limited holiday time and budget? The truth is, it’s probably a number of things. A comfort zone is described as “a psychological state in which things feel familiar to a person and they are at ease and in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress.”
Who wouldn’t want that on holiday?
But in truth, it’s not just holidays. I’m the same with books and films – I love to re-read or re-watch something I already know. I look up the ending of a film before I watch it. I have a set of favourite restaurants and tend to choose one of these for a night out. I love re-watching old boxsets, and I listen to much, much more old music than I do new. Oh, and I categorically hate surprises.
According to Psychology Today magazine, ‘ familiar things – food, music, activities, surroundings, etc. – make us feel comfortable. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense that familiarity breeds liking. Generally speaking, things that are familiar are likely to be safer than things that are not. If something is familiar, we have clearly survived exposure to it, and our brain, recognising this, steers us towards it.’
Makes total sense. Yet, paradoxically, I’m not against trying new things – I’ve moved house 13 times in my adult life, I’ve started a business (well, 2 actually), changed jobs multiple times, rarely stick to traditions, have a pretty variable daily life and have travelled all over the world. So, actually, I think that the peace and soul calming headspace I experience from a trip back to that familiar part of Spain is less about hiding away in the ‘safe’ and more about recognising that it’s nice to be able to rely on instant relaxation and a guaranteed good time. While travel undoubtedly broadens the mind, getting to get to know a place deeply – exploring it bit by bit and peeling back the layers brings a calmness and satisfaction that’s hard to beat. And it works brilliantly for a short break. I never get bored, because it’s never totally the same, and neither am I. A trip to that special part of Spain is a tradition I won’t ever tire of.
So for me, it’s about balance. A couple of trips a year back to Andalucia, complemented with new experiences and destinations is the perfect mix.
